Welcome to 2012

Just realised my holiday almost come to an end..
2 more days to enter a new 2012 year.
Wohoo..looking forward yet challenging year ahead.
So many to-do list and expected going to carry out.
Ooo,Lord,continued to strengthened me throughout the year.
Teach me how to Focus on one right thing rather 'fragmented' myself..

Assignment down,phew~~
3more days to 'balik kampung'
count-down+ing for my 2 weeks holiday
and can't wait to jump on the bus and shout that
Kluang~ I'm back..
Home-sick at the right time la..
Is my first year and second sem now.
Hmm..
Had my cell-group for last weekend.
It rings my bell,a thought that had stop in my mind.
What have you learn/experience from your previous sem?
At the moment be asked,Im strucked..
Seriously,it seen like I had neglected something in my life.
The past six months,seen like I been burried my head in all my books.
Is my responsible be an excellent student in my study
but i realised that study is not only thing I can do in my uni.
Where is all my desire,fire,passionate be gone??
there must be some problem on my management.
New sem,new hope,the remain plan and the multi dreams.
So,look up..

Ps:When life knocks you down,Look Up=]
(a great sentence that kp on encourage me)

I thank you

Finally,
Exam over,went to a celebrating cum relaxing trip with my study friends..
All the way I could see the laugh,relax,funny and no-pressure face on each of my friends..
It was so much different before and after exam.
I enjoyed the Genting trip,food and fellowship as well
Of course,when the moment you strike and battle together had finally come to an end.
There must be a small reward for ourselves=]
Reflected every single moment we spent together
Accidentally and unintentionally we formed a study group.
Everyone having the same AIM
Selfless rather than selfishness
So much grateful that The Lord always placed the great people around me..
Received my practical result
cry over joy
First class result seen like never happen in my life
It did happen..
Was thought Im dreaming when I stood in front of the result board
Can't cover the joy and immediately called to mom to report my result.
Mom was in Singapore by the moment
but I knew that she was happy too
At least mom,you can proud of me.
hahahaha..
Seriously,I thank God for HIS present and went through the pressure and struggle moment with me.
And He is always take control in everything.
Your mercy and love always overflow to me..
I thank you..

Finally,a good nap for this afternoon..
As usual be awake because of the worry+ness and afraid..
Although my practical exam is over
What am I worry now is about the -RSULT!!!!!!!!!
Arghhhh!!!!!!! still in mood of nervous la..
Lord, I need your comfort and peace..

Welcome myself back to writing blog..
Seriously,these past few weeks have seriously torture me and my final is just on next few days..
Goshhh..tiring and frustrated due to the restless and continuing study..
Not enough sleep sometimes had drove my mood to worst..
Repeated practise just wanted to perform Perfectly on the real exam
In the other hand the theory paper is not negligible..
Seen like you have early preparation but there's always lot thing you can't ever understand..
Ohhhh!!!!!!!
STRESS STRESS STRESS !!!!!
The moment you woke up and sometimes even don't have a proper ready time and you need to rush to practical discussion
Sleep with your books too..
Whoever don't have stress during the exam..
Learning count on HIm..
Yes.I can do it well for the sake of Your name..
And I wanted to do it well for my next planning..
Gambateh!!!

Yeap!!!!!! having a 11days for Deepavali break..
Does it sound great enough to have a long festival break where others only have a day break..
Definitely Malaysia has much more holiday,festival compared to others la..
Happy 1 Malaysia,Happy Deepavali and Happy holiday to me..
While everyone are ready to packing and having the 'balik kampung' mood
I'm decided to spent more time to in my hostel and my beloved library..
Try to finish and complete as much as revision I can before I'm really have the holiday mood
And the peace to have fun at least wont feel so guilty la..

1st year,1st sem,1st clinical posting.1st week in Pantai Hospital
Truly grateful and thankful..
I thought I will get more scolded or ignorance from the physiotherapist at hospital
errr,out of expected,Lord had mercy to me
faithful and love..
Gain more than lost..
perceptive changed..
towards patients and therapist too..
Realised what I can do more for the people and how important the therapist impact the patients.
It was really make my eyes open,
the way their approach to patient,
and the kind of PASSION..
Right now,be patient to wait as it's not my time yet.
4years to go,a good starting,may a good ending too..

Should I or Shouldn't I
change my room to a room with air-con and heater
and the price different is just rm35..
Hmmm..
3reason for swinging my mood to change
i)the noisiness from the highway and ambulance
ii)dirtiness of the block
iii)damn hot during day and night

2strong reason to keep my mind to continuing staying
1)enjoy a single room so far dn hv a roommate(strong reason)
2)the nice warden and guard under my block

So,how is it???

Happy to fail

Just had my 2nd OSCE today...
An test actually..
Fail my test..
But,this time I'm not feeling sad at all but great to fail..
The reason I fail wasn't because I can't answer the question
On the other hand,i answered all my question well and quite satisfy to myself..
So,what caused me fail actually??
Funny but a great lesson to me..
I don't know how to take off the shirt..ahhahaha..
Simple and yet is caused me fail.
Is OK..at least I'm satisfactory..
And I will remember to request my patient to take off their shirt next time..

hectic city,headache me

Lunch break!!!!
Using my precious time to drop by,
back from raya break and gonna to re-adapt the study mood again..
Already 2 days suffering from diarrhea
Gosh!!!
and again the Stress rush up to me..
Within a month gonna finish the whole part of body,2exam,presentation,folio and so.....
Arghhh!!!
throughout all these,i learn not to give myself too much of stress in stead of doing my best..
I placed all my trust onto Your hand..
Yes,I Can,I do and I will...

My first clinical posting had changed from a stroke centre to a hospital..
And actually I preferred to go to a hospital and explored more..
I gain what I want just the matter it's a bit far from my hostel to the hospital..
I knew that the distance should not be a problem to stop me to learn more
and there wasn't always come my way,between,I'm still give thanks..
Unhappy during the process of changing,don't wish to do the trouble and irritating thing..
I'm still did that..
Confusing on what I had done...
Right?Wrong?In-between??
Whatever la...

Having my first formative exam in this morning..
And few of us having a practice the night before..
Thought of preparation should be enough to cover today exam because there's only palpation part..
Guess what,the moment i received the paper was none about practical skill and all about theory..
Gosh!!!! Although I had read what I have learnt in these pass 2 weeks..
But the question come out was the question I never seen before..
Now i only realised how little part I had cover only.
And so much and so much I need to read more..
A bit down?sad?discouraged?exhausted...
Each time I will say I'm learning from the mistake
but how many times more I can afford myself to make a mistake as I'm entered the tertiary of my study level..
Arghhhh!!! As i think I won't have much time to WASTED like this..
Buck up!!!!
I just need be more hardworking,That's all!!!!

STRESS UP!!!!

hey hey hey!!!
Guess what,blogging had became one of my greatest entertainment in my uni life..
It's not mean there was no fun in mahsa(kl) but you definitely will appreciate the time you have to stay in the room..
seriously..
Officially started all my seminar and lecture in this weekend..
Felt so discouraged,disappointed,unfair and STRESS-UP..
Can you imagined our lecturer is expected you to done all thing in less than a day time..
(is not my lecturer's fault)
I meant just because we are from July intake people and ACCIDENTALLY or PURPOSELY mixed up with the April intake students
and we supposed to rush for our study and catch up with them??
they took 3 months time to study most of the chapter and we need to took 1day to fulfill what they did in the past 3months?
besides,different people you met(character,personality, and etc) was a great lesson to me too..
shortage of books and....
What a unfair treatment we are given??
Who you should point your finger at??
GOSH!!!! ARGHHHH!!!
These is what people called enjoyable uni life?
If in this case,I been cheated la..
the roots of education are bitter,but the fruit is sweet..
So true and totally agreed!!!

Although there's so many and many unsatisfied
I learnt to put my eyes on YOU and GiVe Thanks..
At least I can find a peace and great support from YOU..

A good weekend...
After all this and going back to my hectic study weeks..
May God strengthen my road ahead and a determination heart..
A totally out of my expectation uni..
Different lifestyle,different kind of people and so many..
Yet,there's a long learning journey for me.
Timetable is pack,morning class to aft..
Wow~ should be a tired weeks..
May all these be done in Your name..

3 days in Mahsa

Already 3 days passes,
hopefully it will turn into 3 years after I open my eyes again..
It's counted orientation week,but to me is definitely NOT..
Day 1 to 3 be in lesson together with 2 UK co-ordinator..
Awesome English,awesome guidance..
Efficiency,Awesome..
They seriously take us as a University student rather than asking us to do the stupidness thing..
Good to hang around with coursemate(minority la)…
Basket of story want to share
Anyway,so far so good here...

Short back-bag trip

3days2night trip to Kl
Alone yet a learning process to me..
Main purpose is to visit my campus..
before that passing by the IMU..
Amazed me and passed by the UM afterward..
NIce compound and then Mahsa..
Main entrance was so nice and clean..
A nice physio centre provided where I mistook as gymnasium..
What I dissatisfy was the hostel.
Small and dirty.
And I believe God is making a big joke to me..
He hit on my weaknesses so accurately..
Ohhhh…..haiz yet I'm still need to overcome all these..
Making lot fun and create joke to the taxi-driver too..
From a kampung girl where I need to turn into a city girl is not easy..
and everything as a new thing to me..
Long journey to learn..
Yet,i'm still thanks God for His abundances..
This short back-pack trip make m eyes open.

I'm ready

Went out for I love Kluang Project this afternoon
felt so much relax and easy this time after 2months i missed out..
Much satisfied compared to the previous distribution which I will involved every month.
Less people compared to each time..
3 of us in a big car but more joyful and more attention we paid to the families.
Maybe this time we learnt how to give more rather than every month just in sake of doing.
Stepped into a new family.
A husband with 3 wives and 16 kids aged fr2-20yrs old
Can you imagined the situation,it's shocking me..
First wive had already divorce and 2nd wife and her oldest daughter were worked who took up the responsibility to feed the family.
Unfortunately,the oldest daughter met an accident and yet didn't get any compensation and still undergoing treatment..
Income been cut off at this moments.
One blows come after another.
Suddenly I stood out and asked jit can I give her some physiotherapy(although I'm knew I'm not fit yet and of course they took me as kidding)
But,I had a strong feel at that time(I wanted help her)
How i wish I had the skill to do this and feel like wanted doing something(nothing in the end also)
Maybe just need be patient and wait now
Feel glad and rejoice,
I seek back the thing I wanted most..
I'm enjoying To Serve..
Always remind myself to stay focus..
Making money is everybody's wishes,always cannot compared the big satisfaction after we give..
Yes,learnt to give;my forever lesson..
As I know Lord is our provider :D
Yeep!!!so looking forward my study after struggling all this while..
Physiotherapy-I'm ready..

Less than 10days
As the day getting nearer,my heart getting more and more uneasiness
Don't know why,
home-sick,whatever, maybe a responsible again..
Another 4 years,a long journey..
Worries more than expectation..
Maybe this time I have really learnt to independent..
More independent..

709 end,prayer endless

709 is a day should wrote in our history book??
How I wish when my generation can see the scene by duno how many years after..
Is that possible??Yes,but definitely not in our Sejarah Malaysia..
I'm thanks God because I'm safe now,but when I thought of my safety came from those who are scarified their own safety to protect our land..
A bit shameful and useless while I can't do more..
Advised from my friends,they asked me don't do silly thing again ah as I'm still under government ah..
Frankly speaking,I'm hesitate and fear(what will happen when I been caught and so on)
What should I fear in our homeland??
It's too late to say much here..
How I wish when I opened my eyes this morning,
there'll be a New Malaysia..
Anyway,since 709 is come to an end.
But it doesn't mean my prayer for a change in Malaysia will stop
and hope it same to everyone,
709 end,prayer endless..

Satisfied and impressed when you see people around who willing to stand up for a Change in their world/land..
Really,I'm salute you regardless who you are,where you are standing right now..
Seriously,I'm wish I can do more,not because i want to win but fight for our right-our justice..
What's wrong if we wanted a fair and clean election and of course harmony country..
There're just lot people take all this for granted..Including myself..
Sad..
Thank you for the people who willing to step out,
thank you for bringing peace and harmony to us.

Hmm..
Should I go for a back-pack before Uni start?
I wish to..
A time for me to plan all the journey
because I'm the only traveller..
Short-distance,all the way to KL..
Hot sun,the only thing in my consideration..

Mindset set.
Decision made.
Feel of releasing.
Next,act on it.
The hardest part,
More strength to draw.
Everything going to end soon..

back to normal

Hope it all goes well..
Take it in control,Lord.
What's my purpose,focus on it..
Keep your command..
And this may be my last time be to telling myself.
Stop what it doesn't belong to me.
Thank you for the happiness and joyful moment which you have lent me..
It's time I returned all this..
And back to normal..
And back to the first time we met,which maintain as a stranger.
Forgive my cruelly-ness and stubborn-ness..
Because there won't be happy ending..
Pray for you silently in my heart and blessing to you..

In-between

In-between??
Black vs white=grey
Have you ever in a position called in-between?
How does it feel?
Same as the feeling I had right now??
Hmm…
To me,
I always disagreed in-between
Is either black or white
Is either you want or don't want
Is either you can or cannot
Is either Yes or No..
I wrote this actually is a reminder to me..
Since I can't accept In-between
And yet I need to act it first..
Is a mindset,is a decision,most important is a Pride to me..

1+1=2

Shouldn't start all these from beginning..
Never thought of the seriousness of the matter..
It's like no sense while all this happened and only speak a lot here
Yet,I cant't even seen any changed..Seriously..None..
Time will be the best medicine for the hurt??
I'm don't know,but if in my view..
I think is WON'T..
Repent??Sincere??
Thinking now..
I thanks God for your present
yet I wish I won't meet you from beginning..
There's purpose behind all this..
Just like if I never met a group of awesome friends
and I won't end up to meet you,Lord..
1+1=2
Nothing can change the fact.
No matter how one's trying very hard to change all these.
Yet,it always and still be there..
Sometimes,I'm hated myself too..
for finding excuses rather than changing myself.
Is easier to think,how about to act?
At this moment,I can't find even 1 reason to support my stand..
I know what is wrong and yet I have no courage to stop it..

1st July 2011

tik tok tik tok!!!
waaa,1st of July..
22days to go..
Ready to go,physically more than mentally ba..
but,i believe I can overcome all this.
Because,
He goes before me.
What should I afraid??

Welcome back to blogger..
More than 1month++ haven't touch my blogger page..
Busying??Not really..
But seriously had enriching my holiday..
Less than 1 month time to stay in my beloved place or people.
Sad yet looking forward to step out from my comfort zone.
Finally had convince myself to accept the fact.
What I meant?hmmm..
Most obviously is obey Lord's will..
Dreams versus reality.Reality won.
No more medicine study,no more missionary doctor,no more Sabah,no more oversea.
Mahsa College University(first reaction from public was-where it is?what is the well-known course)
It's definitely cannot compared to our well-known local U likes UM,USM,UKM and etc..
Keep my head held high,the problem always lied in our own self..
So,I was proud to get in my uni and my course(seriously)..
And sincerely thanks from my bottom heart.
From decision-making time to the moment of providing.
Lord,you always there for me..

Much rest that never had before in my life..
Honestly,am really grateful that what I had in the past few weeks.
So much fun,so much laugh,so much and so much..
Promised myself to have a long break before college start.
Yes,I did it..
And I know I had enough,really enough..
Be prepared..
Started to complete the shopping lists now..
Found out there was so many thing I need to ready..
Wooo..girl really had so many thing compared to boy lo..
Hahaha..anyway,am enjoying to buy my own stuff..
Give thanks.
Thanks Lord for the timing and your great plan.

Called to the uni yesterday.
Received a good news that my application postpone to July intake was successful.
14july-the actual date to enter uni life.
Looking forward yet so afraid.
Adapt the new environment,people and so many again.
So,it means another 2 months,I,gonna said goodbye to my lovely one.
Sound like still gt long time eh..
But,preparation start now lo..

Trusting You are in control..
Always remember what kor Isaac had tought us..
He will always grant us the way regardless it's our desire
He will still allow us to do all thing,
The destination will still be the same.
What the matter is journey and process..
God is just like a GPS,he will always grant you the shortest distance and the best.
The final destination is same,
Is either you follow his way,
It's no wrong to have your own way,
B'cz it always recalculating to make sure you are on the track.

Thank you Jesus

Thank you Jesus for grant me a way
when I was in struggling and moment I'm gonna give up..
You are an awesome God who never give me up..
You go before me and take control of everything.
It's never enough to say thanks to what you have done for me..
You watch over me
You grant me strength to stay strong for each time setback.
You grant me wisdom and patient in making every single decision.
Praise the Lord.
Thank you..
You are the only one deserve all our prayer..

There's Purpose in every situation you are regardless good or worst.
If God close the way for me and I believe He had the best for me.
Doing the best I could right now and decide when all option in front me.
Somebody told me do not make a hurry decision,
everything Is Ok either in waiting or making decision.
Yes,I'm chasing the best not the time.
This is the only way I can comfort myself now.
So,restart everything again..
Application form again,I'm gonna send you off..
Please send me some good news.

Giving up??

Finally at home today...
And take a good rest at least..
What all this happen to me?
Totally no idea.
So tired..arghhh..
Is not physically,
but mentally be challenged..
Another decision making time
Looking forward another opportunity yet worries about the setback again..
So discouraged and disappointed.
Sometimes questioning what's God really wants me to do..
Which path should I taken.
NO matter how strong and determine the person was,
trust me there's a time I can't take it anymore..
How long I can survived
Honesty,I myself can't answer this question now..

Submit my decision onto your hand..

The forth day not at home...
Out to Kampar and Melaka.
The main purpose is to apply University
haha...seen like we have holiday more than that..
Anyway,the biggest satisfactory I gain throughout this journey
was-Submit my application form.
Funny??
But,it's really give me a comfortable when I submit the form although
the result is not out yet..
Don't know what's the outcome
but this time is difference..
I know what I want and trust in God that He is in control..
take away all the worries
but have Faith..
What's Faith?
There is believe or trust in something that you don't know what will happen in the end..
So,thanks God for this journey
and the wisdom and courage all the way..

Anywhere

3 hours spent in library..
Wondering why Singaporeans like to spend long hours here..
Such a good condition and of course a place strategy to study.
This can be a very good answer..
Started to miss schooling day,hmmm when come to that moment
Feel like holiday is still the best,this is how human like.
So flicker..
Hahaha...anyway,
Still enjoying the environment here,at least the cooperate of people is much more better than kluang
I mean the people in library(you will know what I mean when you personally go to klg library)
Finishing the book,where is my next station?
Hmmm..
Shopping at neighbourhood after that Bugis..
And of course my starbuck after that..

I no way to go..

Seeking the wanted from the unwanted..

Remaining or accepting??

Which is the best,no right to say all these..

It's not all about me,it involved others..

Do you ever in a position that is against your principle??

Support evil to do the worst??

What should I do??

Successful to put down my job..

31th of March today..

jobless for tomorrow...hahaha..

Am resign my job as a kindergarten teacher..

Well,so looking forward the day to left but I seen like a bit unhappy..

Maybe,i fall in love with my job and kids too..

Children might be noisy,naughty,but this is the characteristics of kids..

Inspired by their purity and innocence and of course trouble-free..

How great it is if I can go back the childhood time..

Hey girl,move forward and good thing are yet to come..

Left without a word,sound like terrible,but am make sure the kids will not feel sad(maybe they are not so emotion la)

Anyway,enjoyed to have fun with them(singing,reading,writing,PJ)

All the best,children..

Maybe my next part time job will work with the kids too,who knows?

God always grant me the way

thank you,Jesus!!!

The courage and strength that YOU had given all the time..=]

confusing

Silly when come to almost deadline still can't come out a Perfect,Good,Excellent decision??

It's really hard for me to make up my mind NOT because fickler minded

is because I'm really don't know what I want.

which way I wan to go to?

Ask and you should be given;seek and you will be found.

So,Am seeking and asking NOw.

What is your reaction when people offended you??

Right now,I found out I had more patient.
Not being action/show off but amazed what I have learn from my work experience.

Felt angry,unreasonable,there was who I am last time.

This time,I learn to be more calm and choose not to be easily offended but people.

Just walked away for I know that Lord always stand in the justice side.

We could not please anybody so asking who you wan to please besides our Father in heaven.

Thank you Jesus for being my guard and the plan you have set for me..

So,please don't lose heart because of my trials here.I am suffering for you,so you should feel honored [Ephesians3:13]

Where is my passion??

Am seeking right now..

God's plan for me^^

Wohoooo...

I found a job and all glory to the Lord..

Lord really did works in miraculous way.

Guess this time what I worked as..

there's is kindergarten and child-care teacher..

Wondering nest time when I met my little student,will that called me teacher yap.

It can be fun too..

To be honest,I'm quite nervous+afraid+but excited to my new job.

Went to mission last month and complained why God put me in the situation which involved children.

Right now I worked again with children..

So surprising and never thought once again I hang around with them.

It's true,I really need to step out my comfort zone

Much courage and strength..

Pray that I can do the best for them and bring blessing to people.

It's all Your plan,this time I'm sure.

So,let's see how God works from today onwards.

hmm..

Temporary feeling,

make us lose ourselves.

It's time for us to think wisely whether we are really suitable to each others.

So,let's us have more time to understand you and me.

Maybe,I'm not the one you find..

It's NOT what I want

Few days training with all the YMIers,

get along with them and of course teamwork is important..

Found out some feel or sense that never come to me before.

Was always surround by friends,never know the feeling be left out.

It's definitely NOT a good taste.

Learn to give in,get along,and self ego..

Try my best and found out it's really very very hard..

There's only I come to alone,I can feel the present of myself.

More relax and comfortable if compared with hang around with people.

We all need friends,of course.

Sometimes,we all need time to get along with them and only find out who they really are.

Experienced this kind of feel,it makes me grow more and more.

Experienced and I know to care the people surround me.

Do not mind being alone and the worst to come.

I started to enjoy it,I think it's bad la.

God placed the people surround us

NOT accidentently

but with Purpose.

I have to learn work with people right now.

Library time

"Young men are asked to strap bombs to their bodies to blow themselves and innocent people up..They have been told that this will guarantee them an early place in heaven.They are asked to undertake what the people asking them to do have not themselves done.At least Jesus died himself."If anyone suggests that you become a martyr,say....
"You first."
Read some christinity book when I was spending my time in Singapore library..Great time to enjoy the silenceness and at least have a rest of mind throughout all the trouble recently..Going to clean out 'rubbish' and leave the space for the healthy thing..haha..It was funny when iread the small part of story,interesting and clear enough what I should do more for God..
A small book but bring out a great message..Too bad,I can't bring them home la..Going to drop by here often..