I have make a choice...

Yes..it's time to let go..

Let go the everything..

Im dn nod which one of all of you are real..

there is no way for me to struggle more just because of...

you have said:

we already trying our best to play our part well

we cnt control others..

it was they will whether they choose to accept or reject it..

and if it was come to worst...

there is nothing I should feel wanted to holding back..

there is no meaning..

be friend too..

what for wasted the effort to those who dn nod appreciate it..

realisation..

Does people have both sides which are strong and weak sides...There are some people can cover their weak sides very well but too bad im not including in the gang..

lecture today..

sat at the back..

trying hard to focus..

fail to do it..

look around, think a lot n talk a lot..

topic around 'them' again..

beyond my control..

pipe opened...

tears warming up my cheeks..

is the last time..

really..

been telling myself many times..

With the strength HE gave

I believe I can...

cry does not make sense but I did it...

People said do not make a regret in your life....

but Im did it...

And Im know...this was the biggest regret that was never get rid from my heart....

Trying very hard to forget about it to lessen my sorrow...

In the end....

every part of story still crossing my mind...

It seen like does not decrease a little bit but end up added up as time is passed...

Due to my stuborness...

im wrong..

but it was too late..

even a chance to aplogize that you have taken away..

give in = give up???

Will it too late Im started to think about where I need to go in the future...

It was seen like no turning point and what I can do was just walk through it..

Does give in =give up....

maybe ba...

because both are no strength to fight for...

-sorry-

Sorry...

A sorry to those friend who are caring me but I dn not respond to you...

Im know it...

I try very hard to keep everything just do not want all of you worry about me...

Im do want my problems be ur problems...

Im dn need any from you..

Thanks for being my sides...

Appreciate it..

Stop asking what happen to me...my answer still unchange..

Im ok..Im fine...No problem...

Mayb you all think that Im selfish..trying to keep lotz thing in heart..but what for speaking out..Is that any change...

Im also feel very bad that keep want your wondering and guessing what is going on to me..

Im sorry..Im dn wish to mak ur lik these..

SORRY

Jit,Eleen,Josie,Xueqi,Jun.......

for Im nt speak out all thing to u...

Choices...Have it?

Am confusing myself..

Is it the real me???

What should I do?

Am I really need give in to FATE..

I dn wish...

but seen like no choices..

What Im nod is......

when I give in..

I have lost the real myself...

Juz lik live in these world without spirit o soul....

Am I really a big changed??

Hmm....today have some small talk with my friends...Althought it was short...but quite enjoy it....maybe the question such like damn boring but it quite meaning to me ba...I was asking about that....

LOVE,FAMILY,FRIEND

which one will you choose to give up....

haha..very funny ho...I know there all are very important but....haiz..suddenly one thing cross my mind...How about if they are going to give you up..

One of my friends had told me that : mayyee,you have changed...changed from a person who do not know caring change to a caring person and more laughter on my face...haha...but she said that...I was using my laughter to cover my sadness...

and her answer was totally different..

She said that last time's mayyee wont keep everything in heart...

A deep thought cross my mind..

Am I?

Get up-mayyee

Hmmm..Eleen asked me a question today...What is friend for??What your definition of friend??Of course lotz people will say that is caring and sharing....When friend is suffer then must give a help,be a good listener and......But to me...Im do not think so...These is because Im taking yours as my best friend then Im only choose to do thing alone...

Receive a call from Jit,he ask me wad going on to me...just be ok and tell him that Im fine..He told me that Im nt alone and the people around me were support me..

appreciate it..

really...

I will solve my own problem..

I can do it..

I hope...

Am I choose the right path??

Was sound like funny and stupid....Even myself also confuse about it..

Never cross my mind that wil taking F6..was in stk now..From the start was interest in physics but end out going to biology class....phobia going to hospital but just want to be a doctor...

Question myself...

is it the right way...

Im dn nod...

wad going on to my decision...

Who can tell me am I doing the right thing..

there is no turning point...

walk forward ba...

[心解]

Finally I knew what going on to me ...Although thing had passed a long time..In the end,I found out that I was still not yet to get rid of it...I thought I could overcome it..But what it was proven is I'm really couldnt do it...the problem never get out from my heart and I was the one who put it in my deeper heart and try to run away it...I thought run away is the best way for me to solve the problem but it was just oppose what I was thinking...I was wrong..Was just like a booom...it would explore anythime..and was me didnt dare to face it...

Somebody told me today that I was such a lousy actress...Im Knew it..what could I do...If there was choices for me...sure I would not choose this road...because....

it was the tougher road and there was no choice to me...It could not deny that the people around us were wearing the mask to treat people...

[ACCEPT]

was what man had given me without saying anything...

-Home-

Am dn nod wad happen to me these few days...Dn feel like wan talking anything and just feel that a lot of thing is meaningless...even my life right now...Selfish keep think about such the stupid question-want to go Home....meaningless school,mountain of homework,tuition,sport practice,hypocrite crowd.....there is super tired when arrival at home but the worst is stil cnt sleep well...trying to get more sleep cz nod tat inner body reli cnt tahan le...but...every night will sudden wak up...im oso dn nod wad d prob is going on...

hypocrite crowd....

Feel disappointed to the people who are wearing mask right now...why they cnt live in peaceful and no hypocrite life...Can they stop finding trouble and shut they mouth...Say before thinking is the stupiest way...Is it very happy for urs who are talking behind people back...??haiz..Am really cnt understand and choose dn wan to understand anymore...start from right now..juz be myself because my trust towards urs is totally GONE...It's cnt believe that there have two different story said by a same person...
And Im gained a lesson from these story is-
Keep my trust in my deeper heart and never tak it out le....

Be strong mayyee

Keep telling myself that I must Be Strong,there is nothing can defeat me except MYSELF...The biggest enemy is nobody but yourself...Is tired for me to do anything..is really tired..There is a lot of question mark in my heart and mind...I choose to keep in my deeper heart and jus pretend there is nothing happen..Hope time is the best medical for healing..To me,speak out the trouble is just add on a burden to another listener..Cnt be so selfish..The world will not change and the time will not stop just because of you....

Who you are?

You are just nobody...