mahsa intake

Finally,year2,sem1. Happy yet I know more to cover as I grow and be a senior. Flash back on the day when all the juniors are rushing and busying in consulting all the seniors and orientation. Doesn't really involved myself in the day of orientation. Actually it was damn bored as you are trying to show the parents where and how's the mahsa is. The Child(ren) nowadays is/are so blessed la. This is what i can said. As you trying to showing and pleasing the parents around, so many thoughts keep pops up on my mind. Is nowadays kids get used be spoon-fed. Or simply the parents loved their child too much. It's not right to just judging people, but it's very to sorry to say that this is really what I see. Do you believe an uni student yet their parents are still help them to find out everything. Where is the library,where is the cafe,How is the hostel. The main thing is from the beginning to end, you still unable to know where is the child.. ohhh noo~~~ What to do?? They are simply too blessed.. Heard from one of seniors, from this branch,there's really a lot of mummy-boy. Hope this 4/5years they may change from a boy to a man. At least,take up the responsibility being who they are. As we know,they are the future professional who are being doctor,nurses,pharmacy and etc. So may this bad influenced won't pass on to next generation..

Trust

I believe I touch on this topic quite a period ago. Trust. Yet it's still my bigger lesson to learn. To trust. Somehow the feedback may not be sweet but otherwhere else.

Rushing back to kluang early morning and ready some simple stuff. Another trip to Melaka. Not for fun this time,sending mom to Pantai hospital for the operation. On the other hand,as a leader going to lead a group to mission trip. As a child,as a leader. What's the responsibility I'm bearing right now. Confused?Feeling want crying loud. Bible saying honour your parents. Since like this time I'm not making a right decision again.

Argghhh!!!!

Up and down feeling sucks me.. Kinda feel disgusted and unfeeling well.. So many thing on hand, Definitely am a person dislike Stress.. I believe everybody same with me as well. Who cares. Franking speaking,dislike doing thing can't even please myself. It's hard if you can't enjoy the thing on your hand. By the way,so many thoughts was running over your mind. One heart,so many feelings. one brain,so many thought. Hard to focus. It's beyond my control. Certain thought,certain worries,certain people keep rushing out from my mind..

mom

Sometimes not only parents worry for their children.. It can be other way round. Aiya,mom will go for check up again. I insits wanted to drive her out all the way on next week Yet my sturborn mom just scared for me to drive.. Instead of taking the bus alone and wasting the time on waiting..haiz.. Mom,im no longer the little girl le.. I can take care of you as well la.. Maybe not firm in financial yet.. But i promise for my rest of life. Im not only take up my own cross. But im still wanted to take yours. Lord,grant mom a mercy journey and may the report will be all well..

Option become one decision... from these moment,there's no more option for me. Know why,people have the wanted answer and had decide for you. It's hard to live your life by your own antmore. ''it's my life,let me have it'' this statement, no longer in my life.

Changed vs Unchanged

Finally back to my lovely home-Kluang. Be served like a princess. From what you wear to what you eat-nothing gonna to worry. How good be served in home. So reluctant to back to kl. Somehow so many camp,meeting,social,exam,study had really draw me to max. And I know the moment I back to Kl,there's no longer myself. The responsible I gonna to take up. The decision I gonna to make. The people I gonna to face. The social I gonna to handle. No matter how,I know I need to do it and face it regardless how my heart going to dominant everything. The most comfortable zone I was in right now,I knew there's somebody scarified herself just for settle everything for me. Such an irresponsible.It's not my style. But,at least now,please give me some time to sort thing out. To do something I prefer. Just let me be myself at least once.

You give and take away

So long time not posted any news. A silent night,being alone in front of a darkness room. Some thoughts flow through my mind. Wish to find a familiar place or friend to have a long night talk.. I am stress but don't know what is actually stressing about. 2 patients of mine passed away in this week. 1 of them was the patient I follow up since she was in ICU and be transferred to medical ward. Pray a lot for her since she was in ICU,an old lady,quite well in control my tears when my first sight for her. I can't do much as doctor,as personal assistant,as member.What I extra do for her was keep her in my prayer. It was really heart-broken when I first experienced how she trying to talk to me.But she couldn't. When the tube enter from the throat,and my suction session started,whole tube was filled with blood.Such a scene I never can forget. This was my job. Sorry,aunty.I just wish you to discharged earlier. Great for the next 2days accidentally saw the old lady was transfer to medical ward. I thought i was never see this aunty again due to I been transfer to medical ward. But God,open his way and once again,I can do something,not much,some physiotherapy ex for her. It was my last time to see her. She was stable but still semi-consious. Yet,the sad story was just 2days after the good news. The aunty had pass away. God really making a big joke. Such a time,lot emotional was come out. I know,I need be a professional and rational. I know you must be trying very hard as well. RIP aunty. Somehow,it may be a big relief for you. At least,thanks for giving me an opportunity to serve you.

Holding so many thing in your hand
yet we always should learn how to 'Let Go'
At least,at these moment,
we should learn how to let God take control in everything.
Experienced a lot of sweetness and bitterness recently..
No one else will understand.
Because at the most time we all are relying on our own Feeling rather than open heart to people.
Rather we expecting others will understand and know exactly how we feel.
In fact,we know it's all impossible.
Every individual and organism is different.
So many time we tend to make an ASSUMPTION based on how we feel and what we see
Yet,how many of us will tend to look at the inner part.
As always,human's natural assumption will defined people based on the surface.
Not disappointed on the people.
Even myself is imperfect and no one else.
Draw the wisdom from above.
Teach me how to look people as how YOU are.
Put away all the pride and self-ego..
Even You had humble yourself.

Ohhhh...been busy buried myself in so many way..
Sometimes,i have no direction where and what I supposed to do for the next.
So many thing on your hand yet you don't even know how to prioritise it..
Argghh,I need a better time management..

Breakthrough

No matter what your decision is..
Just remember the Lord is go before us
and He is preparing every single big or small thing/people with Purpose for you
take every step with Faith
And fully trust on His providence and planning.
Breakthrough,and to glorify His name with God/right motive but not man's desire.
And,you will find how blessed you are
Because God had chosen you in among of His children..
It's more than enough for you to
Give thanks=]

Checking back my email and mailbox and found that it's really become my encouragement here.
Stress up recently and wondering how longer I'm going to hang on.
By God's grace and mercy to me
so far still under control..
It was so happening la!!!!!!! arghhh...
Must be too relaxed before
and now finally realise how stress is it..
Continued to move on as I know I'm not alone.
With God,with friends with family still.

1,2,3,4,5 days of continuing diarrhoea..
waaa..what is going on with me.
And the stubborn me wanted to be more clever that the doctor
and decided to keep delaying my consulting time..
Racing with time as well as why after tahan 5days only consult to doctor.
It was so many happening recently as well la.
As this sickness moment,especially you are alone in beyond your own hometown
it make me to miss home suddenly..
Between I give thanks of a bunch of friends who are always around me and advise me to consult dr earlier.
Although I might not listen to you at the first time,Am really appreciated every single words or action you guy have did to me.
Thank you kawan
Thank you God for your wisely choosing of people and placing the people around me.

A new challenge in this sem

3 days 2 night camp..
Was great and seriously lot of unexpected harvest.
A trip where were mainly occupied by UM students and staff.
Don't know why I was involved in this camp.
Met a great mentor/leader who was really passionate in doing great thing.
Learnt a lot and is time digest what I supposed to do for the next.
Campus Crusade for Christ
Assistant most of the uni student to build disciples in their campus.
And this is what I supposed to consider for the next.
Am I really capable and willing to take up the cross?
To me,it was quite easy to form any prayer group(regardless small or big group)
but, the responsibility beyond this is really struck me in deciding my next step.
Consistent in maintaining; commitment in doing.
It really make me to think twice in making any decision regardless how small the decision is.
Why am I be placing in this uni and meeting lot people around me.
I believe it was not accidentally but with the Lord Purpose
So,what should I do?
Prayed that a decision making is not based on human's desire,
but above all
the highest master and the bigger picture.
Lord,I need your wisdom from above.

Damn bored spending my time in mahsa and doing nothing..
Few hours just flow through few pages of my books.
seriuously no idea what am I doing.
ohhh,i should go look for some entertainment la..
1room,4wall,no roommate shown there's extraordinary quiet and lonely sometimes.

Ohhhh no,am I still in CNY mood..
Can't focus myself to deeply look into a complete chapter.
Maybe,it's another friday and following 4days will be my holiday.
Decided not going back to hometown
because to allow myself to have a better mind to sort thing out
and settle down for my exam..
so welcome my books and goodbye my holiday..

God does exist

God Does Exist

A man went to a barbershop to have his hair cut and his beard trimmed. As the barber began to work, they began to have a good conversation. They talked about so many things and various subjects.

When they eventually touched on the subject of God, the barber said: "I don't believe that God exists."

"Why do you say that?" asked the customer.

"Well, you just have to go out in the street to realize that God doesn't exist. Tell me, if God exists, would there be so many sick people? Would there be abandoned children? If God existed, there would be neither suffering nor pain. I can't imagine a loving God who would allow all of these things."

The customer thought for a moment, but didn't respond because he didn't want to start an argument.

The barber finished his job and the customer left the shop. Just after he left the barbershop, he saw a man in the street with long, stringy, dirty hair and an untrimmed beard. He looked dirty and unkempt.

The customer turned back and entered the barber shop again and he said to the barber: "You know what? Barbers do not exist."

"How can you say that?" asked the surprised barber. "I am here, and I am a barber. And I just worked on you!"

"No!" the customer exclaimed. "Barbers don't exist because if they did, there would be no people with dirty long hair and untrimmed beards, like that man outside."

"Ah, but barbers DO exist! That's what happens when people do not come to me."

"Exactly!" affirmed the customer. "That's the point! God, too, DOES exist! That's what happens when people do not go to Him and don't look to Him for help. That's why there's so much pain and suffering in the world."

- Author Unknown