Option become one decision... from these moment,there's no more option for me. Know why,people have the wanted answer and had decide for you. It's hard to live your life by your own antmore. ''it's my life,let me have it'' this statement, no longer in my life.

Changed vs Unchanged

Finally back to my lovely home-Kluang. Be served like a princess. From what you wear to what you eat-nothing gonna to worry. How good be served in home. So reluctant to back to kl. Somehow so many camp,meeting,social,exam,study had really draw me to max. And I know the moment I back to Kl,there's no longer myself. The responsible I gonna to take up. The decision I gonna to make. The people I gonna to face. The social I gonna to handle. No matter how,I know I need to do it and face it regardless how my heart going to dominant everything. The most comfortable zone I was in right now,I knew there's somebody scarified herself just for settle everything for me. Such an irresponsible.It's not my style. But,at least now,please give me some time to sort thing out. To do something I prefer. Just let me be myself at least once.

You give and take away

So long time not posted any news. A silent night,being alone in front of a darkness room. Some thoughts flow through my mind. Wish to find a familiar place or friend to have a long night talk.. I am stress but don't know what is actually stressing about. 2 patients of mine passed away in this week. 1 of them was the patient I follow up since she was in ICU and be transferred to medical ward. Pray a lot for her since she was in ICU,an old lady,quite well in control my tears when my first sight for her. I can't do much as doctor,as personal assistant,as member.What I extra do for her was keep her in my prayer. It was really heart-broken when I first experienced how she trying to talk to me.But she couldn't. When the tube enter from the throat,and my suction session started,whole tube was filled with blood.Such a scene I never can forget. This was my job. Sorry,aunty.I just wish you to discharged earlier. Great for the next 2days accidentally saw the old lady was transfer to medical ward. I thought i was never see this aunty again due to I been transfer to medical ward. But God,open his way and once again,I can do something,not much,some physiotherapy ex for her. It was my last time to see her. She was stable but still semi-consious. Yet,the sad story was just 2days after the good news. The aunty had pass away. God really making a big joke. Such a time,lot emotional was come out. I know,I need be a professional and rational. I know you must be trying very hard as well. RIP aunty. Somehow,it may be a big relief for you. At least,thanks for giving me an opportunity to serve you.