It all Your plan..

I love being silent somehow..
Well,it's nothing wrong to become noisy also.
The most I get into crowd,the most I love being alone.
Weird??i think so.
Maybe it's all pre-exam symptom.
It all get me suck!!!!
Arghhhh!!!!
Besides all this,there's one thing which I think it again and again.
How I wish I do not know you.
you once encourage me.but you make me feel discourage too..
Can't trust on people,
It make my statement true and strong again.
Don't blame me for being cruel and heartless.
Because there's really no one can make me trustworthy.
Do not promised,
Promise mean nothing to me,it's all crap and false.
How I wish this,how I wish that..
But it's too late.
Anyway,I'M not the kind of people as you think.
Again,I pray for away from this town and the people.
It's not about I hate the place and people.
But how I wish I can go to somewhere that nobody know me.
Really,the feeling to escape myself from being away is stronger.
At least,run away is a good solution from me.
I will be back when the moment I can fully renew myself .
Maybe,the moment was the time you all really know who am I actually.
You will go before me,
And by now I only can put my hope and prayer onto YOU..

Something I never understand..

There's always something which keep in your heart
and never feel like want speak it out.
Do you??At least to me..
Today,there's one more thing make me feel so 'Disappointed'
Again,I do not wish to express everything out or I CANNOT.
Whatever,the space in my heart getting smaller.
Somehow it's hard to know a person well.
He/She might be a good one in front everyone
but how you really know it behind all these..
Like I always will thought that there's both parts responsibilities.
Where there's demand,there's only supply.
Never,ever blame who is the part doing wrong.
By this time,something is more important.
I knew that by my own strength,I might not have the ability to stop the worst happen.
What I can do is withdraw myself from the worst.
Keep on praying and praying.
Hopefully He above all may listen to what my heart say..
While I was praying,
I was thinking how many time He can forgive men
as we keep doing wrong.
Does He turn away our prayer??
Does He feel disappointed to us too..
Maybe,one day He will get tired and give up on us.
Evil stand tall and victory.

once in a life time-my 19yrs old mpppu dinner

It sound weird when I mention this is once in my life dinner/event.
It's because I'm going to left Stk-a place where I have stay almost 2years soon.
No more chances going back to 19yrs and enjoy the fellowship.
Feeling sad not about the place but the people and friends like you all.
Have been taught a lot during these two years.
Went through thick and thin.
And I knew who are the faithful one.
Growth rapidly,
seeing the side of people-angel and evil.
It's really make me strong,and stronger through this journey.
Regret before?
Yes,uncountless time..
But,I took every incident as an experience for me to be stronger.
Should say a big Thanks
to those who hurt me before-You make me stronger;
to those who help me before-You make me see hope in darkness.

speechless...

Arghh....
understress recently..
I don't think I was the only one..
There was something called [responsibilities]
There was lot of imagination...if..then;if not,then..
Really,it drown me to crazy..
Less than one month..
So many thing need to worry.
And the most was I'm not yet settle down.
2.50 make me discouraged again..
Haiz+sigh+sad..
Who I wanted to blame to..Nobody,my fault..
And now,Im only can count on YOU who above all..

trial finish so how about Stpm??

It's has been long and tough for past weeks...
Exam,exam and exam..
Have been trying but not the best for this trial yet.
Gonna put more effort because the FINAL is coming soon.
Happy and rejoice because trial was finish today.
But,the burden seen like getting heavy and heavy..
Can really feel the stress is stepping nearer to me.
ooo...Goshhh!!!
When the moment you seen many people surround you started to get Serious
it's really make me to buck up..
I meant serious this time although I mentioned many times before.
Want exam over soon but don't want time passed fast.
So fickler people.
We want enjoy life but we do not want suffering.
Is that possible??
hahahahahahahahahaha...

MOoncake festival

Suppose to read more book for tomorrow trial exam,
But,I cannot even stop myself for blogging.
Mooncake festival,
I have been long time didn't celebrate it.
Sister has make a suggestion to celebrate this year.
Unwilling to do this due to trial exam is by the way.
Although how unwilling,I will do that instead.
Just because to pay my role as a family member.
Trying to spend more time with family right now.
Always offers to others,
Am I neglected the people surround me??
So,I'm trying to do what I can.

STOP IT

What I have did is too OVER,too much...
Enough for being so playful,it's serious when I came to realise this.
Sorry,sorry sorry.....
Although this never know who was wrong,
YOU or ME,
Just knew that I should STOP everything.
Or not I cannot even find back the truly me,
I'm so despicable,I let you down..
Should keep a distance from you and this is the BEST way I think right now.
What I meant,
was there is one side to withdraw 'itself' out and lot thing can be prevented.
I choose to be that.
And I hope I can DO that.
I don't wish to destroy everything,
I just wish to have a little PRICE when I came in front YOU.
I just wish I can reign my holiness to YOU.
Frankly speaking,I cannot even forgive myself NOW...
What change your world,
to me is all craps because I can't even change myself.
When I came in front you,there is only 'shameful'
Lord,I can only seek for your help now.
Forgive me for what I have did.
Renew me which what I hope now.
Sorry for i didn't appreciate what You have Given me.